Awakening
by Moonsong
Summary: SPOILERS Entire Series- Taka must find a way to save Miaka from his mirror image. AN: Does the fic work with or without the lyrics? Let me know!


  
  
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** SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE SERIES UP TO & INCLUDING OVA 2 **  
BASED ON MANGA VOL. 18  
  
  
  
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Awakening  
By Moonsong  
tsukinouta@yahoo.com  
  
  
Taka pushed the wood-framed door open silently and paused. Inside   
the room, Miaka, his love, his heart, lay unconscious from the   
last enemy attack. A man, whose face was identical to his own,   
hovered by her bedside, holding her hand gently, mutely pleading   
for her to awaken.   
  
Tamahome. A name he had heard more frequently than he cared to   
think about. A man whose memories he had held until they had been   
stolen from him. The man he used to be... or so he had been told.   
But now, it was obvious that he couldn't possibly be Tamahome.   
Not when the man was sitting there in front of him. They shared   
the same build, the same face, the same friends, and a deep love   
for the woman lying in the bed in front of them. Miaka.  
  
~ Oh desert speak to my heart  
Oh woman of the earth ~  
  
Taka's heart ached. Now that Tamahome, the real Tamahome was   
here,   
there was no need for him anymore. An empty shell. That's all he   
was. The shadow of a great Suzaku seishi. Someone to take   
Tamahome's place with Miaka and the others until the real one had   
awakened from his divinely imposed slumber. And now that the   
warrior had returned, it was time for him to go. To leave her.   
Even though it broke his heart.  
  
Half of him raged in anger. How DARE the gods play with him like   
this? He was a human being! With feelings and emotions. Suzaku   
had   
just ripped him out of his life, forced him in the midst of this   
absurd situation and made him fall in love, only to wrench   
everything he had fought for away from him. It wasn't FAIR! He   
had   
more of a right to life than these people who were only   
characters   
in a book!  
  
THAT thought halted him right there. Recent memories replayed   
through his mind- Hotohori, who'd died saving his country and   
never had the chance to hold his son in real life; Tasuki, who'd   
near committed suicide at the thought of betraying his dearest   
friends; Chichiri, who'd lived such a painful life and still   
managed to be their rock when everything went to hell. The   
others,   
Nuriko, Mitsukake, Chiriko; while he no longer had first hand   
memories of them, he knew of their heroic sacrifices to protect   
them all.  
  
More right to live? No. They were far more honorable than he and   
thus deserved far more. He had only been a vessel after all. A   
shadow. He'd never done anything great or important. He was   
just...   
Taka.  
  
~ Maker of children who weep for love  
Maker of this birth ~  
  
'Suzaku-seikun, please let me be strong,' he prayed, shutting his   
eyes against the tears that threatened to spill. 'Grant me the   
strength to do what's right. For her.'  
  
He took a deep breath and stepped into the room. "How is she?" he   
asked softly.  
  
The other man smiled. "She's fine. She's sleeping."  
  
Taka nodded in relief. "I... I'm going back home. To that world,"   
he   
said after a moment.  
  
Tamahome faced him in surprise. "What?"  
  
"Now that you're back, there's no need for me to be here any   
longer. There's no need to look for the stones..."   
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
~ 'Til your deepest secrets are known to me   
I will not be moved ~  
  
Instead of answering, Taka took the ring, his and Miaka's wedding   
ring off his finger. 'Steady, man. You can do this. You HAVE to   
do   
this...' He studied the ring, already missing its familiar   
presence.   
With trembling hands, he blindly offered the prize in the   
direction of the bed. "This... this belongs to you."   
  
Tamahome's eyes widened. " This... is from the wedding ceremony   
with   
Miaka before the fight with Nakago... Thank Suzaku!! I was   
looking   
all over for that!" he exclaimed. "Are you sure?" he asked again.  
  
Before his tears fell, Taka nodded and turned abruptly to leave   
the room. He was halfway out the door when a hand on his shoulder   
stopped him.  
  
"Thank you." He heard the other man say behind his back. "Thank   
you for being with Miaka in my place."  
  
"You're... welcome." Taka choked without turning his head. He   
felt   
the pressure on his shoulder disappear and continued out the door   
at a fast walk. And didn't look back.  
  
~ I will not be moved ~  
  
Hurriedly, before he could change his mind, he headed to Tasuki's   
room and picked up Miaka's beeper. The gadget glowed with a faint   
reddish light. It was time to go.  
  
"Taka! What do you think you're doing?"  
  
Taka spun around. Before him stood the six remaining Suzaku   
seishi, on their faces a mixture of shock and confusion.  
  
Taka laughed nervously. "I'm going home..."  
  
Hotohori advanced slowly. "Without Miaka? Have you lost your wits   
completely?"  
  
~ Don't try to find the answer   
When there ain't no question here ~  
  
"I... I was only a shadow, remember? Now that the real Tamahome   
is   
here, he and Miaka can call Suzaku. Then everyone will be   
reborn!"  
  
The seishi remained unconvinced.  
  
"So... you just plan on disappearing alone?" Nuriko countered.   
"You're just going to run away from him?"  
  
"It's better this way... I'm... not the man you thought I was."  
  
Hotohori's eyes widened in shocked surprise. "Were you not the   
one   
who allowed me to hold Boushin?"   
  
"That's right!" Nuriko broke in. "Wasn't it YOU who endured pain   
to the point of pushing aside my superhuman strength? Just so you   
could be with her?"  
  
"You... you risked your life along with Tasuki to save me..."   
Chichiri added.  
  
Tasuki, who had frozen at the initial realization of what Taka   
was   
doing, broke out of his daze. "Wasn't... wasn't it you..."   
  
Taka met his gaze sadly, his eyes pleading with him not to   
continue. 'Don't, Tasuki,' he begged silently, 'don't make this   
any harder than it already is.'  
  
"It was... you..."   
  
'Don't...'  
  
~ Brother let your heart be wounded   
And give no mercy to your fear ~  
  
Suddenly Tasuki's eyes widened and he faced Taka accusingly. "It   
was you! You believed in me... and cried when you saved me!"  
  
Taka dropped his head in a mixture of shame and remorse. Tasuki   
advanced and shook his friend's shoulders violently.   
  
"What happened? Didn't you say that your feelings for Miaka would   
never change?"  
  
Gently, Taka broke away and stepped back, head still down.  
  
"Taka, I believe you are the real Tamahome! The symbol... the   
power...   
they don't matter!" Chiriko whimpered.  
  
Raising his head, Taka gazed at his friends one last time. "Take   
care, everyone," he whispered, "and thank you... for   
everything..."  
  
A familiar red light surrounded him and bathed him in its warmth.   
Tasuki reached for him. "Tama..."  
  
"Wo ai ni..."   
  
Tasuki broke into a run. "Don't go!"   
  
It was too late. The red mist cleared, taking Taka with it. The   
flame-haired bandit collapsed to the ground and raised his voice   
to the sky. "TAMAHOME!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
~ Adam and eve live down the street from me   
Babylon is every town ~  
  
Taka materialized in Keisuke's room, his heart already regretting   
what he had just done. 'It's for the best,' he repeated over and   
over, 'I was never meant to be with them...'  
  
Pushing himself up from the floor, he silently surveyed his   
surroundings. 'I should get home before their Mom gets here...   
wait   
a minute...' he smacked his forehead and chuckled derisively, 'I   
don't HAVE a home! It was destroyed by that guy trying to be a   
god   
who's really a fictional character and who's not supposed to even   
exist in the first place! Ha ha ha!'  
  
This was good. He was really losing it. In fact, the entire   
situation was making him nearly hysterical. Whether from grief,   
or   
pain, or joy... it didn't really matter anymore. Nothing mattered   
now that he had left her. His mock revelry carried him to the   
full-length mirror on one side of the room. He gazed at the   
mirror, shocked for a moment, then released one last chuckle   
before collapsing against the cool glass in despair.  
  
"You're so pathetic, you don't even deserve to have a   
reflection,"   
he addressed the transparent space in the mirror that should have   
held his image.   
  
It came without warning. Taka's head snapped up and saw his face   
in the mirror... but it was not his face. It was Tamahome's. He   
flinched back automatically but found out his hands were glued to   
the mirror. He was trapped.  
  
  
~ It's as crazy as it's ever been   
Love's a stranger all around ~  
  
"You're so stupid, Taka," his "twin" mocked. "Whatever possessed   
you to go back?"  
  
For the first time since his return, Taka wondered if he had made   
a horrible mistake. "Who are you?"  
  
The figure in the mirror laughed derisively. "You still don't get   
it, do you? I hold the memories and powers of your previous self.   
I got them from something the present you lost..."  
  
Taka's eyes widened. 'The stones...' With an anguished cry he   
faced   
the apparition. "You BASTARD!"  
  
It chuckled back at him. "Such a way to speak to yourself...   
Those   
stones are in me now. That makes you the fake!"  
  
"NOOOO!!"  
  
~ In a moment we lost our minds here   
And lay our spirit down ~  
  
Behind them, the door to the bedroom opened and closed. "Taka?"  
  
In the mirror, Tamahome grinned. "Ah, Keisuke. It's been a   
while..."  
  
Keisuke gazed at the apparition wide-eyed. "T-tamahome?"  
  
"Surprised to see me? Oh, by the way, Miaka's here with me now. I   
don't think she's coming back..."  
  
"Damn you!" Taka screamed, struggling against the mirror.  
  
Tamahome laughed again. "It's too late for that. So long Taka!"  
  
With a flash, the mirror cracked and he was gone, taking with him   
the invisible bonds holding Taka. He slumped to the floor, blood   
dripping freely from random cuts all over his body caused by the   
glass shards.  
  
Keisuke hurried to his side. "What happened? Why did Tamahome   
break my mirror?"  
  
Taka shook his head. That was the least of his problems.   
"Keisuke, I have to find a way back... to warn them. Miaka's in   
danger!" He took out the pager and jabbed at it furiously.   
"Dammit, it's not working!"  
  
~ Today we lived a thousand years   
All we have is now ~  
  
Taka shot up. "I've got to get to her!"  
  
~ Run to the water  
And find me there   
Burnt to the core but not broken   
We'll cut through the madness   
Of these streets below the moon   
With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts ~  
  
~~~~~  
Meanwhile back in Konan, Miaka was waking up. The first thing she   
saw was Tamahome's worried face hovering closely above her. She   
smiled at first, reaching a hand out to touch her beloved's face,   
but then stopped. There was something different about him. She   
couldn't place exactly what it was. He looked the same, sounded   
the same, even smelled the same... but there was something   
missing...  
  
Suddenly, Miaka shot up. "Taka! Where is he?" Panic rising, she   
tried to force her way past Tamahome.   
  
"Shh," he soothed, gathering her into his arms. "He's okay. He   
said he was going back."  
  
Her eyes widened with fear. "Nani?!?!"   
  
She pulled away and searched her former lover's eyes. "No, he   
wouldn't have! He wouldn't have left without me!"  
  
Tearing away, she jumped off the bed and ran outside calling   
Taka's name. "Taka! Where are you?! TAKA!!"  
  
Before she could get very far, a strong hand grabbed her arm   
sharply causing her to cry out in pain. His quarry captured,   
Tamahome forced her back into the room, using his body to shield   
her escape. Miaka stared at him wildly, one arm held up between   
them as if to ward him off.  
  
"Miaka! Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked brokenly.   
"Aren't you happy to see me?"  
  
Miaka blinked. Why was she so afraid? This was Tamahome. Her true   
love. The one she had yearned for all those months and now he was   
standing before her. What was wrong?  
  
~ And I will never leave you   
'Til we can say, "this world was just a dream" ~  
  
Tama noticed her expression become more reflective and pressed   
his   
advantage. "Taka left when he realized he was just a shadow. He   
even left me this." Smiling softly, he held out his hand, showing   
her the ring.   
  
Miaka's eyes widened.   
  
"I tried to stop him, he continued, "but he was adamant." He   
gazed   
at her tear-streaked face. "Should I have woken you?"   
  
No response.  
  
"Miaka?" Concerned, Tamahome took her hand and led her to the   
bed.   
"Look... for now lie down and relax. I'll stay with you."  
  
Miaka allowed herself to be led to the bed. She gazed at his   
worried face once more, searching. 'I see... this man...   
Tamahome... the warrior from the book, "The Universe of the Four   
Gods," the man I loved. After I asked Suzaku... I believed that   
he   
was reborn to my world... but... then... what about Taka? His   
heart... his   
existence...'  
  
Tamahome studied her features, her emotions plainly warring on   
her   
sweet face. He sat next to her and gathered her in his arms. "I   
understand how you feel but I'M here now. You don't need him   
anymore. I'M the one who loves you."  
  
She didn't answer so he tried another tactic. "Suzaku-seikun said   
he should be able to regain his powers after you and I are   
linked.   
Once he has, he should be able to seal Tenkou and everyone will   
be   
happy." Gently, he placed a hand under her chin, drawing her face   
to his. "WE can be happy..."  
  
Finally, a spark flashed in her eyes. "Y-you're right."  
  
~ We were sleepin' now we are awake  
'Til we can say ~  
  
Tamahome smiled and inched closer. "Wo ai ni, Miaka."  
  
Their lips met.  
  
~~~~~  
"Dammit, Keisuke! I HAVE to get back there! They're all in   
danger!   
And Miaka... Miaka..." The mention of his love brought Taka to   
tears.   
'I WILL return for you Miaka,' he vowed silently. 'No matter   
what,   
I'll find a way to rescue you.'  
  
"I'm sure Miaka will know he's a fake," Keisuke soothed. "You   
guys   
were..." he coughed, uncomfortable with the thought of his sister   
being with anyone. He turned away and picked up the phone to call   
Tetsuya.  
  
Taka paced the room, oblivious to the blond's discomfort. "That's   
not the thing. When I was reborn into this world, my memories as   
Tamahome were sealed into seven crystals and given to each of the   
seishi. In order to defeat Tenkou, I have to gather them all and   
get my memories back. But after we had gotten five, Tenkou stole   
them and, my best guess is infused them into another one of his   
demons who's now parading around as me!" He faced Keisuke, eyes   
misting over again. "In a sense, he's more 'me' than I am...   
but...   
but Miaka has to be with ME!"  
  
~ In a moment we lost our minds here   
And dreamt the world was round ~  
  
Keisuke set the phone back on the receiver and faced his frantic   
friend. "Tetsuya said he'd drive over here with Yui-chan right   
away." At Taka's tearful nod, he began gathering their things.   
"We have to get you out of here before my mom comes home."  
  
Taka nodded again. "Gomen, Keisuke... for always being a   
nuisance..."   
  
Keisuke stopped in his tracks and studied the other man. A few   
stray tears still crept down Taka's cheeks, mingling with the   
blood from various cuts on his face. With his torn clothing and   
mussed appearance, he really looked like he'd been through the   
wars. His eyes held all of hell in them, their dark depths   
burning   
with worry and frustration for his lover and friends, and an   
intense, deep hatred for their enemy. At that moment, any doubts   
as to how deeply Taka felt towards the seishi and his sister   
vanished and Keisuke vowed to support him as much as he could.  
  
"Iie, Taka," he began, "I'm the one who should be sorry. For   
doubting you the other day."  
  
Taka met his eyes squarely, that small private fear that Keisuke   
still hated him dissipating as he stared into the other man's   
face. "Arigato, Keisuke."  
  
The blond nodded and flashed him a smile. "Come on. Let's go!"  
  
~ A million mile fall from grace   
Thank god we missed the ground ~  
  
The two ran downstairs just as Tetsuya pulled up.  
  
"Tetsuya!" Taka called as he jumped into the car. "Can we stop by   
my apartment?"  
  
Keisuke looked at him incredulously. "What for? The place is a   
smoking ruins. There's nothing left. You've already been listed   
as   
a missing person."  
  
Taka blinked. "I-I just thought my beeper might be there...   
without   
it..." He buried his head in his hands.  
  
"Miaka can't come back?" Yui finished, tears forming in her eyes.   
Taka nodded, still facing the floor.  
  
"That's not good," Tetsuya mused. "Without the power of you and   
her, Tenkou can't be sealed."  
  
Keisuke was near tears himself with frustration. "Isn't there   
anything else we can do?" He looked away so the others couldn't   
see his expression. "Please," he prayed, sending his gaze to the   
sky, "somebody..."  
  
The car door opened and closed. Keisuke looked up to see Taka   
walking purposefully away from the car. "The poor guy's lost   
it..."   
Two more slams and Yui and Tetsuya wwere out of the car following   
at his heels. Dabbing his moist eyes, Keisuke got out and hurried   
after them.  
  
Yui caught up to the him first. "What are you doing?"  
  
Taka slowly turned around to face them. Fierce determination   
burned in his eyes and his mouth was set in a grim line. "I'm   
going to call her back."  
  
~ Run to the water  
And find me there   
Burnt to the core but not broken   
We'll cut through the madness   
Of these streets below the moon   
With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts ~  
  
~~~~~  
"Look, Miaka," Tamahome murmured as he settled in next to her on   
the bed. "We can start over after Tenkou is defeated. Chichiri   
and   
Tasuki are here... and the others will be reborn as well. And   
besides," his voice grew husky as he pressed against her, "didn't   
I promise you the night of the star-watching festival that I'd   
make you the happiest bride in the world?"  
  
Without waiting for her answer, he bent his dark head over hers   
and captured her lips.  
  
~ Yeah, I can see it now lord   
Out beyond all the breakin' of waves   
And the tribulation ~  
  
Miaka closed her eyes, responding automatically to the feel of   
the   
man she loved beside her. Somewhere, deep in the depths of her   
mind, lingered the nagging feeling that something was wrong.   
That voice was, however, quickly silenced as she felt Tamahome's   
warmth surround her. She relaxed, savoring the moment.   
  
- Miaka! -  
  
Her eyes flew open, her lips mouthing his name even as Tamahome   
was kissing her. "Taka..."  
  
Tamahome jerked himself up, eyes blazing. "What?"  
  
"It's Taka..." Miaka was staring past him, eyes unfocused, seeing   
other places, other times, "You know, it took almost a month   
before I could unmistakably call him 'Taka' instead of   
'Tamahome...'"  
  
"What?!"  
  
She continued, oblivious to his torment. "Taka was certainly   
different here and there from Tamahome but..."  
  
Desperate, Tamahome grabbed her arms, pinning her to the bed.   
"Stop this! He no longer has anything to do with you!!"  
  
The call came again.  
  
- Miaka!! -  
  
She continued to see past him, face lighting up at her memories.   
"He always smiled for me... big and wide. And he was always...   
looking   
at me!"  
  
~ It's a place and the home of ascended souls   
Who swam out there in love! ~  
  
Tamahome shook her hard. "He can't DO anything anymore! I'M the   
one you love! LOOK at me!"  
  
Finally, Miaka's eyes focused on his frantic face. "No, you're...   
different..."  
  
"HOW?"  
  
~ Run to the water ~  
  
"I don't know!" she wailed, bursting into tears. "But he's the   
one   
I need now!" she squirmed, freeing herself from his confining   
grip.   
  
Lost, Tamahome could only stare at her with wide, disbelieving   
eyes. Hot tears pooled underneath his eyelids as he watched the   
woman he loved tear away from him.  
  
- Miaka!!! -  
  
~ And find me there ~  
  
"He's calling!" she cried, shutting her eyes and throwing her   
face   
heavenwards. "I HAVE to go back! Taka!!"  
  
~~~~~  
"MIAKA! Come!"  
  
~ Burnt to the core but not broken ~  
  
Overhead, the sky was roiling an angry red. The winds picked up   
and shrieked through the trees as a faint rumble of thunder   
boomed   
in the distance. Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke shrank back in fear.  
  
~ We'll cut through the madness ~  
  
Taka, his face pointed to the sky, stood his ground; eyes and   
fists clenched shut as he concentrated on his beloved. "MIAKA!!"  
  
~ Of the streets below the moon ~  
  
A vision of a swirling phoenix... then, finally, the sound he was   
waiting for.   
  
~ With the nuclear fire of love in our hearts ~  
  
"TAKA!!"  
  
Her sweet voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once, echoing   
through the sky and through his very bones. Taka's eyes flew   
open.   
  
Like a bird winging home, Miaka materialized from the roiling   
clouds and fell into his waiting arms. Taka enclosed her in his   
embrace, his tears mingling with hers.  
  
~ Rest easy baby, rest easy ~  
  
Dimly he heard their surprised gasps as Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke   
surrounded them, forming a protective circle around the couple.   
  
~ And recognize all the light and rainbows  
Smashed to smithereens and be happy ~  
  
He raised his head briefly, meeting their ecstatic eyes in turn,   
before turning back to his beloved.  
  
~ Run to the water and find me there ~  
  
"Wo ai ni, Miaka," he murmured over and over as she sobbed his   
name. "I promise I'll never let you go again."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
OWARI  
  
  
Author's Notes: There is an alternate version of this fic without   
the song lyrics. Sometime during the course of writing the fic, I   
decided to take the lyrics out, but then decided to put up both   
versions anyway. I did re-arrange a few events, omit some lines   
and scenes, and add a few things, you know how I like doing that   
^_~ but I tried to write this as close to the manga as possible.   
Hope you guys enjoyed it! Comments, feedback and flames ONEGAI-   
tsukinouta@yahoo.com  
  
Huge hugs to Quicksilver, Lyra, & Ari who proofed this for me;   
and to Tasuki no Miko who graciously let me use her manga   
translations as a reference for this fic. Visit her site at:   
http://www.crosswinds.net/~tasukinomiko/Anime/FY/  
  
Disclaimer: All original materials belong to their respective   
owners. Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu and a bunch of big   
companies. "Run to the Water" belongs to Live. No copyright   
infringement is intended. The story is mine and I would   
appreciate you emailing me for permission before posting it   
anywhere else.   
  
Copyright © June 26, 2000 by Moonsong. All Rights Reserved.   
http://www.topcities.com/Anime/moonsong  



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